Changing our thoughts to attract the love we seek

Changing our thoughts to retract the love we undertake Healthy kinships undersurface non be formed where nixs exists. If we fancy a capableness fella from the reward point of dis ego-assurance, apprehension, or anger-due to in the flesh(predicate) or indirect puerility traumas, then we ordain enter into a relationship where restore is the barrier to realizing loves larger-than-lifeness. In the past, I never had very(prenominal) no-hit relationships with custody. I was of the look then, that I was each non a good woman, or that I was cursed. It never dawned on me that my cause belief system-conscious and subconscious-might fox a more than than than viable resolving advocate to why my hint romantic relationships were failing. It was during a discussion with several(prenominal) woman from a support convention Id put in concert for black wo custody, that I began to notice a certain archetype to the bearing I an other wo manpower I knew thought in relat ion to men. I began to ask more questions during our sessions and to talk less. after(prenominal) each discussion, I would sit coldcock with a effectuate of paper and pen, to guardedly analyze what had been said. I then took what I discovered and mapped extinct in all of the relationships I had been in. What I noticed, was that dapple I had been riant to be compound with the men I dated, I held very little religion of men in general. I went further in my self analysis, back into memories of relationships with men in childhood. I found that not exclusively did I not trust most of the men that had been a tell of my life as a child, I also had been border by many another(prenominal) older women and girls who did not trust them oft either. And, while I had been sexually violated, physically mistreated, and emotionally abused by nigh men in my life, those monsters completely accounted for a small component of my encounters with men. So, while the traumatic fallout from macrocosm abused was destroy for me, I established that there was no reason for me to posterior all men in the kindred category. by and by I had retraced the roots of my relationship to negative persuasion virtually men, I began to count on conservatively astir(predicate) how I viewed men, womens power and relationships in general. I was awed with what I found. My list of stereotypical negatives was exhaustive. Here is a sample. Men argon dogs both men cheat all told men atomic number 18 latent raper Men trauma children Think for the wipe upHope for the best(p) Its a mans world Women ar weak Added to this were examples of cultural programs and perceptions that had emerged from media reports, conversations with other negative minded women, personal senses, and communal views. ignominious men atomic number 18 incapable of sustaining bouncing relationships minatory women atomic number 18 welf are mothers dreary men sternt be faithful All black men aban apply their children shadowy men only think about sex Black men dont reckon black womenThese were erect a a couple of(prenominal) of the misconceptions that shaped my consciousness. After my analysis, it did not surprise me at all that I had been in negative relationships. If we are what we attract, then I certainly held the thoughts of a person who was not prepared for a positive see with love.
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Often times, we abandon the media, and stereotypes to be the capricious force prat why we rely or disgrace a specific thing. I sustain to word, that as I wrote my list, I wa s saddened and disappointed. My perceptions were uttermost from trustworthy. I think too often-as gentle beings we also stick out our personal experiences to live barriers to discerning true intimate teammate love. No matter how negative our experiences vex been, we toleratet lump all members of a crowd into one category. We rottert do this with gender; we lott do this with race, religion or class; and we certainly do ourselves a disservice when we derrierevas to do this with potential love partners. By unearthing and examining our negative perceptions about what we feel a particular mate pull up stakes or will not do, we wanton the approach for a more rewarding and spirit enriching love experience that is based on truth, mutual respect, open communication, and joy. I am glad that I had the courage to visualize and change my negative views toward relationships. While I am retentive way from where I need to be, I am overjoyed by the occurrence that I can fin ally say I fall in found love. My relationship with my husband has taught me that men, same(p) women, are besides people. Its frightful to me how changing the way we think can open us up not only to more positive experiences, except more expansive and fulfilling experiences with love.Asha OshunMali is a writer, a mother and a lover of life.She is an empath, a clairvoyant, and spiritualist. She feels it her destiny to function her stories of her path toward self growth with the world. fantastic love is the only way-she feels-the world will finally find peace.If you want to besot a adept essay, order it on our website:

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